Saturday, September 5, 2009

Suck Suck and more suck

Prediction #4: Dru will suck more than is humanly possible. Here is a photo demonstrating how much he sucks:

So many fucking vacuums... and they suck about 3% of what Dru sucks. Dru will suck so much this labor day weekend.

But don't get the wrong idea when I post a picture of vacuums. In no way will he do something productive like clean his room. That is just impossible.

Not respect laborers

Prediction #3: Dru will not respect Laborers like he's supposed to.

Instead he'll probably spend more money than he should on beer and forget what the American people had to go through to get this day off.

Here is what Labor day is really all about:

And this is what Dru thinks it's all about:

Wow. Really respectful Dru... why don't you piss on the American flag while you're at it... just a fucking joke.

Watch reruns of things

Prediction #2: Dru will only watch reruns of things he has already viewed on the internet rather than broadening his fucking horizons and watching a new movie or a new groundbreaking TV Show.

There are a lot of ground breaking movies out there that I can guarantee you Dru hasn't seen: In the Loop, Inglorious Basterds, District 9. There are even more amazing television shows that Dru has never seen: The Wire, The Sopranos, Weeds, Battlestar Gallactica, to name a fucking few. But will Dru actually decide to start watching one of these to broaden his horizons?

No! Because Dru's brain is incapable of digesting any new information about any show that is not mother fucking LOST!

So instead, he'll probably rewatch LOST like the fucking no-talent unappreciative loser that he is and avoid actually making his brain work.

Hey Dru, Knock Knock!

Who's There!

Culture... open the fucking door and stop masterbating all over your Lost season 2 DVD!

MAN would I hate to be Dru.

Sleep in ridiculously late and then cry

Prediction #1: Every day Dru will sleep in until an absurd hour and then rather than be productive will probably lounge around his room in his underwear crying like a LITTLE BABY GIRL!

If there's one thing we all know about Dru is that he has no life, and he probably doesn't understand that this three day weekend is a blessing and he can accomplish so much but instead he'll probably wash away all productivity with his salty (yet still tasteless) tears.

So let's all celebrate Labor Day the Dru way: by not having friends outside of your tear ducts.